Madman's Weekly

Picture courtesy of Google Images Horoscopes have been around for over 20 centuries, but with millennials straying away from Christianity and other forms of organized Religion, zodiac signs have reemerged as a form of science, and people everywhere are searching for life's answers in the stars. Jenna Naeve, 23, said that the first thing she does every morning when she wakes up is log on to accuratehoroscopes.com and reads about what the universe has in store for her that day. She then plans her day accordingly.  “I want to know if I’m going to have a bad day ahead of time, so I can be prepared, you know,” Naeve said. “I’m a Virgo, we’re very anal-retentive.”  Most days, Naeve’s horoscope just tells her to preoccupy her time with business affairs, and she will attract the right guy for her, but today, Naeve’s horoscope says to be weary of death, and therefore, she has taken initiative and has begun to plan her own funeral.  “As a Virgo, I need to follow a set sc